Mr. French Bean, my gay boyfriend, and vehicular assault

We were in Roatan, and Mona met in her diving class a man that looks quite a bit like Mr. Bean. Only he's French, and in his defence, he is better looking than Mr. Bean, but only just. (Mr. French Bean?) So big night Wednesday. We go out to dinner with Mr. FB and then to the bars. The initial plan was to get completely toasted and live up the last nights of the UnMission. However, surprisingly enough hanging out with a French man is an incredible game-killer. So things were off to a slow start, actually, a complete failure at the first bar.

We go to another bar that is a little more happening. I made eye contact with a guy who interpretted it as a marriage proposal and accepted. While I was making polite chitchat (actual polite chit-chat, not code for anything dirty) Mr. French Bean seizes the opportunity to whisk Mona away and I am left to fulfil my wingman duties with dude. Not too big a deal initially as he is good looking, although things got complicated later as I began to suspect that he was gay, and maybe looking for a meal ticket. Though, loyal to my wingman duties I keep myself occupied. (Slight code there, but very PG-rated as the kid is a biter. I think he actually scraped skin off my lips... no further my friend.)

So then Mona comes over and needs an escape, so I fake an emotional breakdown, quite convincingly I might add, and we escort Mr. French Bean back to his hotel. We decide to call it a night although my new gay boyfriend evidently cannot be so easily disuaded. When I saw him at breakfast the next morning (ah!), he told me that he had gone to our hotel looking for me. Good thing we didn't hang out by the pool.) The kid was persistent, popped up three more times that day.

So, to sum up, our last day together on the UnMission, we rented scooters in an attempt to avoid our suitors and were mildly successful. However, what I was NOT able to avoid was a pedestrian that stepped out in front of me while driving the scooter. I thought I missed her but Mona insists I winged her. So I guess we can mark "hit and run" off the to-do list.